Pinch Me
by TheSlashBunny
Summary: Remus is tired. Tired of Slytherins, tired of St. Patrick's Day, tired of Sirius's antics, and tired of being in love with his best friend. Fluffy. Rated mostly for Remus's language when he's frustrated.


Just a little somethin'-somethin' in honor of St. Patrick's Day! Unbeta'd but I think I got out all the mistakes! I hope you like it! I'm looking forward to feedback!

* * *

It was a lovely day in Scotland, which was odd for March. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a couple of First-Years were claiming that they'd seen the first buds on the trees outside. The grass was green and even the Whomping Willow looked less hostile than usual. It was also the only day of the year in which green could be found in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was St. Patrick's Day and the whole school was filled with students wearing green, even if it was only a paper shamrock pinned to a collar. The Muggle tradition had been brought to the school some decades ago by muggle-born Irish students. Somehow, it had stuck and found a permanent place in the Hogwarts calendar (Sirius gleefully insisted it was because of it's well-known association with drinking "copious amounts of alcohol" and "mindless alcohol-fueled revelry").

And so, on what would have otherwise been a beautiful day, Remus found himself sitting through his last hour of classes, actually dreading the coming evening. It was bad enough that he'd had to deal with increasingly infuriating Slytherin students all day. They were running rampant, pulling pranks and loudly proclaiming how good everyone looked in "the only color worth wearing," all while conveniently ignoring the fact that this was a Muggle holiday. Sirius was also becoming increasingly insufferable (refusing to answer unless called "Paddy" today), egged on by an equally annoying James, and a giggling Peter. He had already been docked 20 House points for Charming his tie green and gold and his patch into a large four-leaf clover. It would have been 30 points without the ten points he'd been awarded by the Charms professor. Professor Flitwick had been so amused and a little pleased that Sirius could prove he had actually paid attention in at least one class. But that wasn't what was annoying Remus, oh no. It wasn't even the loud renditions of slightly off-tune Irish jigs and ditties that Padfoot and Prongs broke into the second they entered a hallway. No, it wasn't even that. It was that Sirius was systematically hunting down every single student in the school who wasn't wearing green in order to pinch them. And, as a former Prefect and Sirius's "responsible friend," Remus was sick and tired of getting complaints that his dorm-mate had pinched someone either in an inappropriate place, or had pinched a pretty girl who'd been wearing green and then offered rather lewd recompense. He wasn't sure if he should be happy that everyone merely complained to him instead of informing a teacher and getting EVEN MORE House points taken, or if he should just give in to his anger and lock Sirius in a Full Body Bind until midnight.

Remus shuddered, causing Peter to send him an odd look from the seat over, as he thought of what Sirius and James had planned for the evening. As the professor droned on about something that Remus would normally be taking notes on, he considered the pros and cons of turning them in and relieving himself of the trouble of keeping some amount of order amidst a group of green-wearing Gryffindors who'll have had Firewhiskey.

Pros and Cons  
Brownie points with teachers....................................................................... but being called, and seen as, a traitor.  
Peace and quiet........................................................................................... Until Sirius and James get out of detention and find out who ratted.  
Sanity........................................................................................................... Until Sirius and James think of a suitable payback.  
Brownie points with Lily................................................................................ Until James gets jealous and takes it out on me.  
Angry Sirius giving me the cold shoulder, giving me quiet time. ....................Angry Sirius giving me the cold shoulder, making me miserable.  
......................................................................................................................Missing Sirius, since he'd be too angry to want to spend time with me.

Damn. He knew that turning them in was the only way to keep them from the party they had planned tonight. If he tried to stop them himself, he knew from past experience that James would whine, Peter would plead, and Sirius, damn him, would use the only puppy-dog eyes that would ever work on Remus. Stupid Sirius and his stupid grey eyes that were like looking into pools of molten silver... Damn him! Remus could never win anything against Sirius. And even if tonight went just as Padfoot and Prongs had planned and Remus ended up looking after a bunch of drunken Gryffindor sixth- and seventh-years and was unable to spend his evening reading the way that he wanted to, Remus knew that no matter how pissed off he got, he wouldn't be able to stay angry at Sirius for long (James was a different matter). Sirius Black was simply too charming. Remus was certain it was the only thing that kept him from being hexed on a daily basis, or from simply being expelled. It also might have had something to do with how good-looking he was, Remus thought, as he watched his best friend lean over to his other best friend and whisper something that started Prongs chuckling.

Peter looked alarmed when Remus's head suddenly dropped to the table with a loud thud, followed by a groan. It's debatable whether Peter should have been more or less worried that his brainy friend wasn't paying attention in class. Peter thought Remus was merely sick, so his concern was misplaced in that regard. However, it would have worried him more to know that his friend was currently trying to stop thinking about how handsome Peter's other, _also male_ friend was. That probably would have made the mousy teen apoplectic.

Professor McGonagall had noticed right away that her usually attentive (favorite) student wasn't paying attention in her class. She knew that something was wrong when his head hit the table with a worrying sound, stopping even his two more mischievous friends in the middle of their scheming to turn their heads to look at him.

"Mr. Lupin, are you not feeling well?" The only answer she got was a miserable-sounding groan. "Mr. Pettigrew, would you please take Mr. Lupin to the Infirmary? I'll have a house-elf return your things to the dormitory." Sirius Black shot out of his seat, hand raised.

"I can take him!" McGonagall sighed.

"Has your last name changed to Pettigrew, Mr. Black?" Sirius sullenly stated the negative as he sat down amidst giggles. The professor did note the way his eyes followed the pair as they left the room. It was obvious that he was honestly concerned. She sighed again before stating, "You can visit him after class, Mr. Black. Now, let's return our attention to..."

* * *

Madam Pomfrey shoo'd Peter out of the Infirmary before seeing to Remus. He looked flushed, but didn't have a fever. When the only answer he would give was a quiet, "I'm just tired," she was forced to write "general malaise" in the chart and offer him a bed until he felt better. As she walked away with a soft smile (he was her favorite patient after all, even if she wished she didn't see him so often), Remus flopped back onto the pillows. Merlin, how frustrating! How he wished he could say he was confused! He knew exactly what he wanted, just like he knew he would never get it. At least his rather public display of despair would get him out of sitting with the guys at dinner and watching Sirius flirt his way through the rest of the day. Sirius could pinch whomever he wanted now without Remus having to hear about it twice - once from the victim and again, proudly, from Sirius!

As he lay back watching the shadows grow on the ceiling, he realized that he couldn't even be angry at Sirius. It's just how Sirius was - inappropriate to the extreme, and yet charming and (devastatingly) handsome enough to get away with it. If he wasn't like that, then Remus would probably never have developed that crush on him. And if Sirius hadn't been such a good friend to him, that crush would've never turned into 'like.' And if Remus hadn't been such a hopelessly romantic _masochist _it never would've turned into lo-

"Remy...?" Remus's head snapped up from the pillow to look into the silver eyes peeking through the curtain that surrounded the bed. He groaned again as he let his head fall back onto the pillow. Why couldn't it have been Lily visiting? "You aren't feeling any better?"

Remus rolled away as his friend walked towards the bed. He could feel him sit down and he could feel the small of Sirius's back resting against his. There was no room for him to move away. For once in their relationship, Sirius just let them sit in silence for a time. And Remus hated it. It gave him time to catalog the warmth that Sirius radiated, gave him time to think back to all of the other completely innocent touches that had been caused by Sirius's complete disregard for the personal space of others - particularly Remus. Merlin, Remus had been trying to avoid those touches, those invasions, for over a week. They just made it hurt more when Sirius flirted with every non-Slytherin female in the school.

"... What's wrong?" Remus repeated what he'd told the matron. "Bullshit. The full moon's not for another 18 days, but you've been acting strangely since your birthday."

Merlin, his birthday... The day that he'd decided, for his own sanity, to give up on his feelings... The first time he'd ever actually seen the object of his affections be drunkenly kissed by some seventh-year girl - and kiss back. What a delightful way to spend his seventeenth birthday. What could Remus possibly say to him? Just remembering that glimpse he'd gotten before running off made his chest constrict and tears spring to his eyes. _Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just behaving like a broken-hearted teenager because I AM a broken-hearted teenager. Sorry if it's interfering with your social calendar!_

"Why are you avoiding me?" Remus stiffened. "What? Did you think I didn't notice?" Gods, Sirius sounded like he was going to cry. "James said that you act the same around him and Peter said he hadn't noticed anything, so I assume that it's just me you're avoiding. Are you mad at me? ... I don't even know what I did."

Yep, Remus was definitely fighting back tears now. He felt horrible. His friend was upset, blaming himself (though, it was his fault for being such an unapologetic flirt), and Remus couldn't even tell him what was wrong. There's no way he'd react well to _It's less what you did than what you didn't do. You don't love me back._

"If it's the party tonight, we've already cancelled it." Why hadn't Remus thought of faking sick before now? Oh, that's right, that's what Sirius or James would've thought of.

"And Peter told me you've been the one people have been complaining to about my behavior lately. Is that why you're mad at me? I'm sorry!" Sirius had turned around now and Remus could feel his gaze on the side of his face. In his peripheral vision, he could see that Sirius was about to cry. Sirius hadn't even cried when he'd been disowned, or when James was so mad at him last year for hitting on Lily. James hadn't spoken to him for three weeks, yet seven days of Remus half-heartedly avoiding him had him almost crying? When had Remus become so important?

"Remus, just tell what I did wrong and I'll fix it! Was it the Firewhiskey at your birthday party? Is that why you're mad at me?" The words were out of Remus's mouth before he could stop them:

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself." Shit, Remus was crying now. Sirius looked like he was going to freak out. Sirius was the only one who'd seen Remus cry and it was after a particularly bad transformation that had left Remus in the Infirmary for a whole week. "I'm just such an idiot."

Sirius placed a hand on Remus's shoulder and gently rubbed his arm, making him start to cry harder. "You're not an idiot! Why would you be an idiot?!"

"I fell in love with someone who will never love me back." Sirius's hand stilled. There was silence for a few minutes as the words sunk in.

"Remy, I'm so sorry..." Remus's heart stopped for a moment. _Here it comes..._ "I didn't know you liked her."

_"WHAT?!"_ Remus sat up and whipped around, crying abandoned, only to be replaced by angry amazement. Sirius looked a little frightened now, trying to explain.

"The girl at your birthday party! I swear it was just a little kiss! I don't even like her! She was drunk and it just happened before I pushed her away!" Gods! How could one person be so dense?!

"Not her, you twit! _You!_" Sirius visibly paled, a difficult feat for the already ivory-skinned Black. Remus sighed and hung his head. Now he'd done it. It was over. He might as well swear off the rest of the Marauders as well since there was no way Sirius would want to be around him now. Would it be awkward in the dorm room?

"...Me?... Really?" Sirius looked honestly confused, but Remus was honestly pissed.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Remus climbed off the bed to leave, grumbling.

"You really love me?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?!" Remus turned to yell at him to just get on with the rejection so that he could go - and bumped into the Marauder's chest. When did he get so close?

All of Remus's sense were suddenly filled with everything that was Sirius. His sight was taken up by his pale, smooth skin, his dark eyebrows, his long eyes lashes resting on flushed cheeks and the way his long hair cast shadows on his face. He could smell the aftershave Sirius kept in the little blue bottle in his shower supplies. He could hear his heart pounding and his breathing stop. And all he could taste and feel were Sirius's lips and body pressed against his.

When Sirius pulled away, he was grinning in a way that made girls throughout Britain swoon - and he was grinning at Remus. Remus's mind felt broken. What on earth had just happened?

"You really thought I could never love you back?" Sirius's grin had faded and he looked a little offended. Remus's brain slowly started to work again, barely forming a coherent thought before his mouth opened seemingly on its own.

"What was I supposed to think? You only flirt with girls." He could only hope that hadn't sounded as stupid as he thought it did. Sirius's left eyebrow quirked up.

"I'll have you know, that I don't climb into bed to cuddle just anyone, Mr. Moony." How did he manage to sound affronted while smirking? "Nor do I study as thoroughly as I did to become an illegal animagus for just anyone." Sirius's hands pressed more firmly against Remus's back, pulling him in closer. His gaze turned serious and his smirk faded. "Nor do I refrain from flirting with just anyone because I'm afraid I'll take it too far and offend him, all while still catching whatever touches and smiles I can to keep me from going crazy."

Nothing felt better than this, than being held like this, than hearing those words. Not chocolate, not running outside on a full moon, not the best dream he'd ever had. Remus was crying again, but this time because the feeling in his chest was too strong to be contained and his joy and relief were spilling out of him in the only form they could take.

Before Remus could lean in (he'd only need to move three inches) to return the kiss, he felt a sharp pinch on his hip.

"Ow! What the hell? Way to ruin the mood, Sirius!" Of course, the former Heir to the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black did his best to look completely innocent while using the non-offending hand to wipe the tears from his favorite face.

"Well, I wanted you to be sure that you weren't dreaming." Remus couldn't help but smile and blush.

"I knew that already. My dreams are never that good."

"Well, since you were wearing green, I haven't been able to find a reason to pinch you all day..." Sirius closed the space between them again with a leer, whispering one last thing against his lips before continuing to a kiss, "And we'll discuss your dreams about me later..."


End file.
